How to Keep Friends and Influence Yourself

“Knowledge isn’t power until it is applied. — Dale Carnegie

Comparing yourself to others is a toxic habit according to Jordan Harbinger from The Art of Charm. It’s one you should make a promise to stop doing.

Jordan says comparing yourself to other people becomes a never ending battle, and one you won’t win. He says we know it’s unhealthy, but for many of us it becomes a vice. It’s especially unhealthy if you compare yourself to your friends. He says you’ll either bring your friends down to your level, or start engaging in a weird sort of competitive relationship with them. Your friends’ successes becomes a personal tragedy for you and actually make you feel bad about yourself rather than feeling good for your friend. This vicious cycle isn’t exactly the best way to keep friends around.

The healthiest thing we can do, according to Jordan, is to appreciate where our friends are and what they’ve accomplished. Realize you’re fortunate to be considered a friend by successful people in the first place. Take the relationship as a compliment to your own value as a friend. He says you should find motivation and appreciation in their success instead of comparing yourself, and measuring yourself and your shortcomings by the accomplishments of other people.

Taking it to the next level, Jordan says you should try to surround yourself with amazing, talented, high performing people. Reach out to influencers, higher ups, high performers and those who inspire you. You can view his full comments here.


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